It's Okay to Ask for Help: What Counselling Can Offer

Understanding Counselling: An Invitation to be Curious

You might be curious about counselling but unsure what it really involves. You might be wondering how therapy works, whether you’d be expected to bare your soul to a stranger, or even if your worries are “big enough” to justify seeking support.

Counselling can be many things; a space to reflect, a place to process something painful, a chance to feel more connected to yourself. But if you’ve grown up with messages like “just get on with it” or “pull yourself together,” it might also feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable.

This post unpacks the realities of counselling, clears up some common misconceptions, and looks at how therapy can support your emotional wellbeing, at any stage of life.

Different Approaches to Therapy: Finding What Fits

Therapy isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. There are many different therapeutic modalities, each offering a unique lens on how healing and personal growth can happen. Some approaches, like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), focus on changing unhelpful thought patterns. Others, like psychodynamic or integrative therapy, explore the influence of past relationships or blend multiple methods.

Some therapies are structured and goal-oriented; others are more fluid and exploratory. It can feel overwhelming trying to figure out which is the “right” kind of therapy for you. Whilst some modalities are more suited to some presenting issues, often what matters most is the quality of the relationship between you and your therapist.

My own way of working is rooted in person-centred therapy. This means I offer a space that’s non-judgemental, empathic, and grounded in genuine respect. I trust in your ability to make sense of your experiences when you're met with warmth, honesty and presence. You lead the way, and we go at your pace.

I incorporate a trauma-informed approach to my work. This means I pay close attention to emotional safety and integrate additional tools such as grounding techniques or psychoeducation. Gentle ways of helping you understand and normalise what’s happening in your body and mind, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected. This can be particularly helpful in the context of navigating trauma, grief or stress.

What Is Person-Centred Counselling?

At its core, counselling is a supportive relationship - one grounded in empathy, honesty, and trust. It offers safe space to explore your thoughts and emotions with someone trained to listen in a way that helps you feel seen and understood.

People come to therapy for many different reasons - a life transition, stress, grief, a sense of being stuck, or maybe a desire to better understand themselves and feel more at ease. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from counselling.

Some arrive with clear goals, others aren’t sure what they need, and both are completely valid starting points. Therapy can support anyone wanting to feel more connected, reduce overwhelm, or make sense of recurring patterns in their life.

Counselling helps by offering something rare: a protected space where you’re not judged, interrupted, or expected to explain everything right away. It's your time, held with compassion and care. Counselling is less about advice and more about connection. It’s a process of becoming more attuned to yourself. Your patterns, your needs, your feelings, and finding your own way forward, with support.

A counselling room - a private safe space

What Happens in a Session?

So what does this person centred approach actually look like in practice? No two counselling sessions look the same.  You might spend the first few minutes just settling in, maybe talking about your week before moving into deeper territory or maybe you arrive with a clear topic in mind or not know what to bring; all these are fine. 

Within a session that work may bring small insights. Some days might feel heavy and emotional, others might feel like you’re simply talking things through. That’s all part of the work. 

Some sessions might feel like you’re going backwards or not making progress.  That’s normal, not a failure.  Whilst in other sessions you may feel as though you’ve made great strides forwards.

The space between sessions can be as important as the sessions themselves having the space to reflect and process what’s come up – which may even lead to little “ah-ha” moments at the most unexpected times. 

Unlike conversations with friends or family, your counsellor won't share their own problems or give you advice about what to do. The focus stays entirely on you and your experience.

You won't leave every session feeling 'fixed' or dramatically different. More often, it's like tending a garden - small, consistent care that leads to gradual growth.

Challenging the Stigma Around Therapy

Many people worry that counselling means being analysed, judged, or told how to live their lives. But healing isn’t about advice - it’s about being truly heard. When someone listens with empathy and without trying to fix you, something shifts. As the father of Person-Centred counselling Carl Rogers (1980) reflected, “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mould you, it feels damn good.” That kind of presence can be quietly transformational, not because it changes you but because it gives you the safety to explore and grow on your own terms.

For many, the idea of counselling goes against years of cultural messaging, telling us to “get on with it,” “stay strong,” or “others have it worse.” These messages, while often well-intentioned, can make it harder to reach out for support when we truly need it. They invalidate and teach us to ignore our feelings, to carry pain quietly, and to see vulnerability as weakness. Counselling challenges that, not by forcing emotion but by making space for what’s already there. It’s perfectly normal to feel unsure, awkward, or even resistant to the idea of talking.

Therapy doesn’t expect you to come in ready to share everything. It meets you where you are, at your own pace. As Dr. Brené Brown (2012) notes, “shame thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment.” Her research into vulnerability highlights how powerful it is to share what we’re feeling in a safe space, and how healing begins when we stop doing it all alone.

Therapy offers that kind of support. It's not weakness. It’s courage.

Some people may worry that they’ll become dependent on counselling, but the goal is quite the opposite it’s there to help you develop your own tools and understanding.

 

Counselling vs Media Portrayals

Popular media often portrays therapy as dramatic and analytical with the counsellor coming across as cold and judgemental.  This portrayal of counsellors and other mental health professionals is unflattering, unrealistic and plays to outdated stereotypes.  This is not the type of professional that I would choose to seek help from and it does not feel like a safe space in which to open up.

The relationship between counsellor and client is central to the therapeutic process and that relationship is built on trust and honesty.  It’s not about being “fixed” or judged. It’s about being met with respect and care.

There’s no one “right” way to do therapy. What’s most important is that you feel safe, respected, and supported in the process. The approach I offer is relational, collaborative, and centred on you.

The Benefits of Counselling: Creating Space for Change

Counselling can be hard to describe in advance, because it often unfolds in subtle, personal ways. For some, it brings relief - finally speaking things out loud that have been carried silently for years. For others, it’s about making sense of emotions that feel tangled or overwhelming. And sometimes, it’s the comfort of being met with care in a world that rarely slows down enough to listen.

Over time, therapy can offer real shifts. You might begin to develop greater self-awareness, stronger boundaries or a gentler inner voice.  This may improve your self-confidence and self-esteem and help you build healthier relationships with others.

Some people find that counselling helps them find a sense of direction or see things more clearly. Others value it as a space where they can show up exactly as they are without needing to perform, apologise, or explain away their feelings.

As Carl Rogers (1961) wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Therapy can help you arrive at that place of acceptance, not by forcing change but by creating the conditions in which it becomes possible. The process isn’t always easy or straight forwards but can lead to lasting and meaningful change.

Is Therapy Right for Me?

Seeking support doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It takes courage to slow down, to ask questions, and to show up for yourself, especially in a culture that often tells us to keep going no matter what.

You don’t need to be “bad enough” or “broken” to see a therapist. Therapy isn’t just for mental illness - it’s also for mental health, emotional processing, resilience, and personal growth. If you’ve ever thought “Maybe I should talk to someone”, that instinct deserves attention. Counselling offers support tailored to you.

Counselling can’t change the past or promise certainty about the future. But it can help you meet yourself more fully in the present - with compassion, curiosity and without having to carry everything alone.

Therapy isn’t about having the right words, being vulnerable right away, or knowing what you want to say. It’s about starting. Letting yourself be curious. Stepping into a space where your emotions, needs, and hopes are taken seriously without judgment. In a world that often rewards emotional silence and self-reliance, reaching out is brave.

Conclusion: Reaching Out Is Brave

Choosing to begin counselling is not a sign of weakness, it's an act of courage. It takes strength to look inward, to sit with difficult emotions, and to open up to another person. In a culture that often encourages us to keep going, stay strong, and hide our pain, counselling offers a different path: one rooted in honesty, connection, and care.

Bravery in counselling doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it's showing up on a day you’d rather stay quiet. Sometimes it’s saying something out loud for the first time. Other times, it’s sitting in silence and letting yourself feel. Each step matters.

Counselling invites you to be human - fully, messily and beautifully human without needing to have it all figured out.

So, if you’re considering counselling, know this: it’s okay not to have all the answers. It’s okay to start small. What matters is that you are starting - planting seeds of understanding and self-compassion that will grow in their own time.  And that, in itself, is brave.

References

Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. London: Penguin.

Rogers, C.R. (1961) On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Rogers, C.R. (1980) A Way of Being. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

A sunflower at sunset