What's Your Self-Care Plan?
- Rebecca Corlett
- Jul 31
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 7
As a counsellor who frequently works with trauma, my supervisor often asks, “What are your self-care plans?” The term ‘self-care’ is something we often hear thrown around but what does it mean and why is it important? I’d like to briefly explore this with you and look at why we should all make self-care a regular part of our lives. So grab yourself a cuppa, get comfy, and we’ll dive straight in!
Why It Matters
In the therapy room when talking about self-care with a client I often use the example of the oxygen masks on an airplane. If you’re on a flight and the oxygen masks drop down, we’re told to put on our own first before assisting anyone else. If you were to try to help others first it's likely you'll quickly lose consciousness, and then not only will you be unable to help anyone but you’ll be the one needing assistance. The same goes for self-care. We can’t look after others if we don’t first look after ourselves.
It isn't selfish to look after yourself - it's essential. This is important for everybody but especially rings true for care givers, anyone with dependents and those of us in the helping professions. As the saying goes, "you can’t pour from an empty cup."
The Leaky Stress Bucket
The 'stress bucket' * can be a helpful way to think about what’s going on. Imagine we all carry a metaphorical bucket, a container that holds all our stresses and challenges we face, represented by the water in the bucket. Some things add more stress into the bucket such as pressures from home and work life, illness, financial pressures, and so on, whilst self-care can help remove some of that pressure. The more stresses that add to our bucket, the more it fills up and when too much pours in, without an outlet, it starts to overflow. That’s when we may start to feel anxious, fatigued, irritable, low and tearful or burnt out.
Self-care isn’t about fixing everything, but it can release some of that pressure. We can do this by engaging in some positive coping strategies. You might like to imagine taps or release valves on the side of the bucket, which you can turn on to let some of the stress out. This lowers our stress levels and increases our available capacity. That might be taking time to rest, asking for support, getting outside, or doing something grounding or creative. These taps can be anything that you find helpful in emptying your bucket. Whatever works for you.
By engaging in self-care – by reducing our stress levels and increasing our capacity – we are improving our trauma resilience. If the bucket is full, it doesn’t take a lot for it to overflow. But if the levels are lower, we’re better able to cope when more flows in.
Over time, regular self-care helps us to feel better placed to face our challenges. It reminds our nervous systems that we’re safe. It’s not just coping in the moment but slowly building our inner resources that help us meet life's curve balls.
Exploring Your Intentions
It helps me to think in terms of intentions. Gentle, possible steps. No guilt if they shift or don’t happen. Just awareness and a willingness to check in with yourself. Instead of sticking to a fixed plan, I ask myself: What do I need right now? Not from a place of pressure but of kindness. Some days, that might be: more rest, or more movement and exercise, less screen time, grounding techniques or talking to someone safe.
What Self-Care Looks Like for Me
Self-care, for me, isn’t one big thing. It’s a collection of small grounding moments that help me feel a bit more like myself. I often turn to:
Going for a walk or spending time outside in nature
Getting absorbed in a good book
Picking up my crochet and letting my hands work while my mind softens
Connecting with a friend, even briefly
Snuggling up on the sofa with my cats
Getting out my yoga mat and doing some stretches and breath work
None of these are grand or complicated - but they're meaningful. When I notice I’m feeling stretched, these are often the things that bring me back to my centre. They don’t fix everything, but they make space. And that space helps.
A Gentle Check-In
So, if someone were to ask you - gently, without expectation - “What are your self-care intentions this week?" What comes to mind?
There doesn’t need to be a polished answer. It's about giving yourself permission to take a moment to notice how you're doing.
And if you’re not sure where to start, or if self-care feels out of reach right now, we can explore that together. If you'd like to connect or explore your own self-care needs in a safe, supportive space, feel free to reach out or book a session.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.
*Developed from an idea by Brabban and Turkington (2002)
